Friday, December 10, 2010

Top 5 questions that people ask.

There Must be a list of FAQ's for each person which drives you nuts every time you hear it. May be you want to bang your head against the wall or tear your hair, or just shoot the person asking the question. Not to fear here goes my unsolicited advice to get rid of the incessant Quiz masters.

I give below the FAQ's, at least the TOP 5. & a choice of responses. This list is Indicative only.Please feel free to add.

Q1. When are you getting married?

A. Possible responses.
  • None of your business.
  • Why? Are you Proposing? (If the Quizmaster is of the opposite Gender)
  • Why do you want me to be miserable? (or something in those lines)
  • Didn't you know I got married? Oops, I must have forgotten to send you a card. (You can probably do this when you meet someone at an Airport Transit Lounge)
  • What's wrong with you? (Pause for effect) We are already married. (Again works for the opposite Gender only.)
Q2. Are you ignoring me?


A. Possible responses.

  • Yes, I am trying.
  • Really? (Pause for effect) You still haven't understood?
  • No. I don't notice you.
  • Oh My God! Is that why you keep trying to talk to me? etc etc
Q3. Do you want to be friends?

A. Possible responses.
  • No, I have enough of those.
  • Ya, sure, so who is it?
  • With you?
  • Why, don't you have any friends?
  • What Happened to your Friends?
  • Can I get back to you on this? (This is by far the worse.)
Q4. Are you upset? (Coming from the one who causes 'the upset'.)

A. Possible responses.

  • Didn't you hear me scream.
  • No I just like to practice my happy to sad change of expression for my drama group.
  • No I was aiming for Angry, now I am just pissed off.
  • You don't wana know. (My Fav.)
Q5. Do you know, you are /have ____________? (Followed by any complement/flattery/complaint about your personality.)

A. Possible responses.

  • I KNOW. (with attitude)
  • You didn't know? I always did.
  • Wow, you are SLOW!!!!
  • That's me!! (preferably with both index fingers pointing at self & a goofy/fake smile, for Compliment/ complaint respectively.)
If you have any annoying FAQ's and responses share. Would love to exchange notes.

P.S: Responses not meant for the lovely people who are my life.
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1 comment:

Rwitabhadra Chatterjee Dasgupta (RITZ) said...

i love the question on "are you ignoring me?"...i face that as well...but ppl often dont get the hint!! loved this piece, needless to say, so read it out to Ma and one of my cousins back in India, who are not that tech savvy!!! Since you gave the liberty to add to teh list, there is a question which plagues me, and maybe many other married women,"When are you having a baby?" I ma so tired of this question.. I have tried to ignore the question, even react to it...nothing works...people remain curious like helll!!!!

your write ups are very inspirational for me...so keeep up the good work...!!!

December 10, 2010 at 8:33 AM

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