A Thoughtful Evening

I spent the evening at a family gathering. It was annaprashon of my very young daughter of my Mama. I went there expecting to be bored, but when I stepped out of my house I decided to leave my cell phone as an experiment to see how well I deal with social situations without the luxury of hiding behind the cell phone and finding sustenance in FB or Blogs etc.

I must say I didn't miss fb nor did I miss the phone, I did my customery rounds with the parents meeting all the people and exchanging pleasantries. I repeated atleast a dozen times where I worked and expalined to them what is it that I exactly do. Yet, all the while I smiled. I thought I had out done myself this evening. But there was more as we settled down in chairs with beverages being served with some finger food I concentrated on simply observing and absorbing all that was happening around me. I sat looking at people walk in and out, Walk about the enitre length of the room. Children running around for no apparent reason giggling and screaming their lungs out.

My mother sat surrounded with all my aunts and her sisters and they chatted about everybody present and more about everybody who was not present. I could hear a few snatches of the conversation. I saw my mother and realised how proudly she talked about me, I saw how everybody was eager to talk to her, she is well loved by her family.I saw my father in a deep discussion with my uncles - I imagined what their topic could be. What is it taht my father found in common with them I wondered. He isn't a man who indulges in small talk, I sat closer to them and realised in was a politial debate.

The dinner was excellent, and as I nibbled my food, I can never really enjoy food, I think i am way oo excited about food, just like I am excited about everything, atleast with the idea and the notion, when it comes to the action or the doing I seem to lose it. So, I was nibbling my food and heard all the criticism that went with it. What is it with people at parties, they dig into the food and the same time criticise it, I cannot imagine How the two can happen simultaneously?

I spent almost 3 hours in this evening doing something I thought I didn't like and would not prefer to do, but then I came to a conclusion, that the Human mind can be trained to handle any situation.

I honestly had a good time... and may be next time I have an invitation for a family gathering i will feel excited about spending some calm and relaxing time. Observing people and situations has it's own merit. My friend & guide always says to me to become An Observer in life, I think it isn't such a bad idea, but like all thoughts revealations can only make you a true believer. Today I may have had that revealation... I thought of good beautiful things on my way back, & i didn't worry about tomorrow being a Monday and despair at the thought of going back to work. Is it that I have finally discovered the secret to not being disappointed with life all the time & having the monday blues. Who knows?

For that U n I both will have to wait for the sunrise.

2 AM Friend - The original Writing

Every one should have a 2 am friend.
It is as important as drinking 3 liters of water every day, which is necessary for the proper functioning of your system. So is a 2 am friend.
The 2 am friend is not your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend or even your regular friend. This friend is special. You only have one of them in your life and they usually walk with you till the end.
The 2 am friend is the one who sees your soul and if you tell him/her that he/she will laugh you out of the room calling you "insane". But this is the friend you think of when you are in danger, when you are confused, when you are in love, when you are out of love, when you are frustrated, when you are scared, when you want to die or when you want to live.
The 2 am friend is the one you might call one night and say, "I think we are meant to be together, lets get married" and then you hear him/her laugh you out of the room for the umpteenth time; you call him/her all the bad words in all the languages you know before you bang the phone down. And as you bang the phone down you will hear at the other end a voice saying, "Sleep tight" and a smile creeps upon your face even though you are livid with the voice at the other end. And then you wake up in the morning and call the friend and say, "This guy has asked me out on a date, what should I wear?" and he/she says, "How about that dress....."
The gender of the 2 am friend is not important. In fact after a certain age it doesn't matter whether he is a he or a she; or she is a he or a she or neither or all. All that matters is the friend who will wake up for you at 2 am and listen to your raving and ranting because he/she cares.
It really does not matter whether you are physically intimate with your 2 am friend. After a certain age even that does not matter. Either you are not interested or you have journeyed enough in life to compartmentalize different aspects of your life.But what is important is that you can discuss anything and everything under the sun, from your ovaries to your in-growths, without flinching.
What matters is the `Connect'. Every time I use that word my 2 a.m friend laughs in my face - literally. That is important. Your 2 am friend should be able to call your bluff, tell you like it is, lift you up when you are down and bring you down when you are soaring high and in the wrong direction. And he does it with utmost respect and love.
If there is one thing that I am sure of my 2 am friend, as sure as the sun rising every day, it is the fact that he loves me and cares a great deal about me. There is a difference between "he is in love with me" and "he loves me dearly" - the former comes with no guarantees...the latter usually comes with a lifetime warranty.
It takes many years to find that one 2 am friend. Some don't find one at all. But when you find one you better keep him/her for life. They are precious.

Christmas Eve and Day

Christmas celebrations had always meant cakes - fruit and rum, a school function, a day when we got to wear our dresses & not uniforms. Christmas meant carols & Jingle Bell, the Tree decoration & the fun of sitting through the re-runs of Grinch or other animations. Yesterday at the most happening 24th Nite bash I realised how the idea of celebrations had changes. In an open air ground the most skimpily clad women chattered in the dew, the expensive beverage & food would make one feel ashamed to think of the thousands who did not have a dinner last night. Standing in the middle of the teeming Crowd I thought How Strange the world had become?

May be I have not grown up or grown up too much yesterday night's tom foolery made me regret my decision to walk into that party,at that exclusive club. The same club whose membership I had once craved, suddenly I could not be bothered to be part of all of that jazz and lights any longer.

As I travelled across the city hoping to get into a Eatery before all of them closed shutters for a much needed dinner, I thought here I was doing exactly what I had forever wanted to do, Party on Christmas Eve and I didn't even like the party.

It was good to have a great company with me, time flew past, good conversation flowed add to it a bit of Bitching, a bit of fate finding a way tos urprise me again. Fate threw up yet another curve ball as I bumped into someone I least expected, & much to my dismay realised that I still feel silly arond these curve balls neither did I handle it well & I also lived to regret the missed opportunity!!

Like always Fate plays it's hand and waits for to blink, & what do I do? Completely act like a 16 year out of high school. Nothing gets under my skin than those Goosebumpy memories and thoughts....

Christmas Day was better because I got to watch Johny Depp and Angelina Jolie romance the camera from all the possible angles, & wait for 1 hour to grab a breakfast at 12 in the noon. It is amazing how brand is built around queues, over priced menus. & I fall for it hook line & sinker. After a few photoshots snapped up at the local mall & giggle ridden time with my girlfriends, I can safely confirm that I like spending my quality "off" time with friends doing same ole boring stuff & not the superficial fashionests evenings.

So may be I am old fashioned, but at the expense of being sounding like a stuck up, I just wish things were the same as they used to be, warm & yummy!.

Those 2AM memories

There is this post I read somewhere about the 2AM friend. If you don't have one you can't possibly know who we are referring to. They are the rare breed of people who are there for you not just at the oddest hour of the day/night but they are their at your oddest hour of need.

The need to which the only answer is speaking to these 2 AM friends.

My friend's sustain me, and out of those a few select group are even more important as they let me relax after the worse day at work or after the worse day of my life. Here's to you!

• The first thing I remember about you is the incessant chatter about some girl who you had the huggest crush on. The chatter drove me nuts but I admired how you remembered the most insignificant details about a situation or person and I wondered how you manged that. You still amaze me with your capacity to remember, to string words, to observe & to make the most sarcastic yet humorous comment. Sometimes I can't help wondering what greater heights you are yet to achieve & whatever they might be I know you are an amazing person.
• There were those nights when we argued like 6 year olds over the most trivial issues. Hugely frustrated by our stubborness to agree on one single point & when I gave up to easy on any argument, I remember how you always said, "Don't give up the fight."
• One night I knew all I wanted was to hear your voice but I couldn't get through to you that's when I realised how much I needed you.
• You went out on a long trip and everyday I wished you would call and then I knew how much I missed you.
• All I wanted was a warm hug and you rocked my world with your genuine care & warmth.
• The last memory I have is of refusing to come out to meet you one evening, And one day like all good things you were gone.. taken from the world so early that I cannot bring myself to forgive my trespasses, criticism and antipathy. I wish we had more time, I wish i understood you better. It's so easy to lose someone in life .... it takes a drunk driver, one drunken step, or push on the accelator to take away the precious gift of a friend. I miss you !!

To all of you who I speak about here, I still can't imagine what my life would have been without you. Everyone of you have made a difference, you have brought to me so much in experience, warmth, love, passion & life. Somehow I hope somewhere you know How much you mean to me.

Of Random Thoughts & images

There is no explanation why a image crops up in our head sometimes from memory sometimes untraceable perhaps from a future we are yet to face. These images loosely strung together form the mysteries that define our lives and what ever powers guide it or don't. If we be but Actors on this stage then we have De ja Vous of an upcoming scene or a flashback. What do these mean? They could be signs of the times that lie ahead or reminders of mistakes we have made and not to repeat the same.

How do we define their meaning? Can we really believe that these are signs or portents?


When you spend days contemplating the images and words in your head things in the present start getting tangled up and reality seems to move in and out of focus. Should you then worry about your mental health? May be or may be not. Who is to say what tricks our mind can play on us?

Like inception, are we dreaming this life, or will we wake up to find this to be a dream or a nightmare....!!

My List of Drool-worthy-forgiven-for-having-an-Affair-with Men

The Local English Daily listed a few Celebrities in Entertainment business both in India and USA in their list of Irresistible Men. I agree Vehemently with their List which is given below & would like to Add a few more :)

THEIR LIST

• BRAD PITT
• GEORGE CLOONEY
• ROBERT DOWNEY JR.
• JOHNNY DEPP
• GAEL GARCIA BERNAL
• RANABIR KAPOOR
• GERARD BUTLER
• ARJUN RAMPAL
• RAHUL KHANNA

MY LIST (NOT IN ANY PARTICULAR ORDER)

• ROBERT PATTISON - That Guy from the Twilight series, Vampire with a Soul
  

• HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN - No wonder I am a Star Wars Fan Now.
  

• TOM WELLING - Still watching re - runs of Smallville, and to wonder that's the only Work he is famous for but who cares when one has those eyes and that smile.
  

• PATRICK DAMPSEY - A visit to the Hospital can be a welcome change when you get attended by him.

• JOSH HARTNET - Perl Harbour that's all I can remember.
  

• CHRISTIAN BALE - As the Batman or the Amercian Psycho just Awesome.

• 

COLLIN FARELL - The Thief or the Saint?

• DANIEL CRAIG - The Rugged and rough around the edges Bond.

• ERIC BANA - Not overshadowed by the Presence of either Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom in Troy.
  

• DANIELLE RADCLIFFE - Harry "Danielle" Potter need I Say more?

• JAKE GYLLENHALL - Brokeback Mt. Anyone?

• JAMES FRANCO - Remember him from Spiderman; he definitely had more eye catching looks than Spidey himself.

• JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS -You don't want think beyond Match Point.

• JUDE LAW - My Blueberry Nights anyone? Simply delectable.

• JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - Slightly OTT sometimes but definitely worth a look.

• LEONARDO DI CAPRIO- The one and only... Leo.

• ORLANDO BLOOM - Boyish charm and all that no match for Johny Depp but Still has majorly Cute!!

• HUGH JACKMAN- Now who hasn't gone Ga Ga over his Kate & Leopold?

• SHIA LABEOUF - Cute Guy / Boy next door looks and some major movies to boost, Transformers & Wanted topping the list.

Chronicles of Narnia - The Voayge of the Dawn Treader

Narnia series is a great Children's Literature, one of the treasures we have grown up with from the Pen of C.W. Lewis. But as a Motion Picture it fails to pull us. Why?

Comparisons with the two ultimate commercial and critical success stories of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings is obvious. I will not go into those comparisons. You already know how different Narnia is from both the above mentioned series.

Some of my observations:

• C.W. Lewis's series and its order is disputed amongst, google it or go to wikipedia and you will know that the actual order of the reading of the books are in question.
  
• The books were not written in any particular order and so the story is not really a continuation, yes, time moves as characters grow old, die etc, but we are not following their lives, we seem to be always thrown in the middle of an adventure with introduction or end.
• Even though we may love the books, the movie does not make us wait with excitement for its next installment.
• There are 7 books of this series and I wonder if another of this will be made into a Motion Picture. It simply isn't worth.
  
• Yes the visuals are breathtaking but where is the pull, for any of the characters, do we want to know what happens to Susan & Peter, or Aslan?

Now to why the third installment which just does not work despite 3D.

• You miss Susan & Peter.
• There is no Aslan.
• How long can you wait for the resolution knowing fully that it will eventually come.
• The actors have set expressions, raised eyebrows, cwering eyes, gaping mouth, the CG created characters of Reepicheep and Aslan are more entertaining, even Eustace as Dragon is better.
  
• The magic of Narnia on the Dawn Treader is limited and does nothing to excite us albeit it is very much reminiscent of The Odyssey.
  
• But unlike the Epic the solutions are too easy, the temptations not to great, the Magic to feeble everything just doesn't add up.

In fact, to be honest the motion picture just leaves you feeling sleepy because there is absolutely no emotional attachment with anyone, the crisis seem to be extraordinarily flimsy, and the characters seem hardly moved by any of it. The first installment of NARNIA was beautiful, the second had its many battles and wars which made for good viewing, but the 3rd is unexpectedly Dull.

And like Caspian we wonder why Lucy and Edmond have been called back in Narnia.

Any more of Narnia is definitely not worth my money!

Crabs - My Crustacian Obssession

My Crab Obssession cause Gastronomical Disasters & Allergies but Can't Get Enough of these Crustacians. Here's Two of my Favorite Crab Recipes, one is Oriental the other Bangali.
Recommended Food Joints for tasting these:

• Bangali : Kakrar Jhal - @ 6, Ballygunge Place
• Oriental : Black Pepper Crab - @ Mainland China

NB: Both the Restaurants are owned by the Specialty Group

Recipe for Bangali : Kakrar Jhal

Ingrediants

• Crabs - 500 gms - 2 medium sized crabs in this case (Cleaned and with their
• shells cracked)
• Red Onions - 250 gms - sliced lengthwise
• Potatoes - 250 gms - sliced lengthwise
• Tomatoes - 2 large - chopped roughly
• Green Chillies - a handful
• Ginger & Garlic Paste - 1 tbsp.
• White Mustard Paste - 1 large tablespoon
  
• Mustard Oil - 1 large Tbsp
• Whole Garam Masala - 2 Cloves, 2 small green cardamoms, 1 inch stick of
• cinnamon, several pepper corns
• Turmeric Powder - 1 tsp for marination, 1 tsp while cooking
• Red Chilly Powder - Kashmiri Chilly - 1 tsp.
• Salt - to taste
• Sugar - 1 tsp

Method:

• Marinate the crabs for an hour in Salt and Turmeric.
• Heat the oil in a round wok or kadhai. Toss in the crabs and stir fry the
• crabs till they change colour.
• Remove crabs from the wok and keep aside. In the same oil, tip in the onions and stir fry till translucent.
• Add the potatoes and keep stirring on high heat.
  
• Add the whole garam masala and continue cooking on high heat.
  
• Add the Tomatoes and the ginger-garlic paste and keep stirring.
  
• Add some green chillies, broken in two.
  
• When the oil starts coming out from the sides, reduce heat and add the turmeric powder and chilly powder.
  
• Add the mustard paste and keep stirring. Add the crabs and pour just enough water to cover the vegetables.
  
• Raise the heat till the water comes to a boil. Add some salt and the sugar. Cover and cook till the water is reduced to at least half.
• Raise the heat and stir the curry for 5-10 mins or till the gravy isthickened. Add the juice of the quarter of a lemon.
  
• Garnish with a sliced green chilly and chopped coriander.
  
• Serve hot.

NB: Best eaten with hot rice.

Recipe for Oriental : Black Pepper Crab


Ingredients

• 2 lbs large mud crabs, claws cracked, shells removed and cleaned to dry.
• 4 tbsp freshly ground black pepper
  
• 3 to 4 fresh red chilli, seeded and finely chopped
  
• 4 tbsp butter 10 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped
  
• 10 slices young ginger
  
• 1 to 2 tbsp oyster sauce 2 tsp dark soya
  
• 2 tsp sugar (optional)
  
• oil for deep frying

Method

• Fry the black pepper in a wok or frying pan (without oil) till fragrant.
  
• Remove and keep aside. The crabs taste best if they are deep fried in very hot oil first – deep fry on all sides till the crabs turn red.
  
• Drain and keep the oil aside.
  
• Heat a wok, add the butter and when it melts and is hot, add the garlic, ginger and chilli and stir fry for three minutes till the mixture is fragrant.
  
• Add the oyster sauce, soya sauce and sugar and stir well before adding the pepper.
• Stir fry a few seconds on high heat, add the crabs and stir fry one minute.
  
• Serve with the garnish.

NB: Best served with boiled rice tossed in Wok with some Spring Onions

Hope you enjoyed this culinary expedition!

Top 5 questions that people ask.

There Must be a list of FAQ's for each person which drives you nuts every time you hear it. May be you want to bang your head against the wall or tear your hair, or just shoot the person asking the question. Not to fear here goes my unsolicited advice to get rid of the incessant Quiz masters.

I give below the FAQ's, at least the TOP 5. & a choice of responses. This list is Indicative only.Please feel free to add.

Q1. When are you getting married?

A. Possible responses.

• None of your business.
• Why? Are you Proposing? (If the Quizmaster is of the opposite Gender)
• Why do you want me to be miserable? (or something in those lines)
• Didn't you know I got married? Oops, I must have forgotten to send you a card. (You can probably do this when you meet someone at an Airport Transit Lounge)
• What's wrong with you? (Pause for effect) We are already married. (Again works for the opposite Gender only.)

Q2. Are you ignoring me?


A. Possible responses.

• Yes, I am trying.
• Really? (Pause for effect) You still haven't understood?
• No. I don't notice you.
• Oh My God! Is that why you keep trying to talk to me? etc etc

Q3. Do you want to be friends?

A. Possible responses.

• No, I have enough of those.
• Ya, sure, so who is it?
• With you?
• Why, don't you have any friends?
• What Happened to your Friends?
• Can I get back to you on this? (This is by far the worse.)

Q4. Are you upset? (Coming from the one who causes 'the upset'.)

A. Possible responses.

• Didn't you hear me scream.
• No I just like to practice my happy to sad change of expression for my drama group.
• No I was aiming for Angry, now I am just pissed off.
• You don't wana know. (My Fav.)

Q5. Do you know, you are /have ____________? (Followed by any complement/flattery/complaint about your personality.)

A. Possible responses.

• I KNOW. (with attitude)
• You didn't know? I always did.
• Wow, you are SLOW!!!!
• That's me!! (preferably with both index fingers pointing at self & a goofy/fake smile, for Compliment/ complaint respectively.)

If you have any annoying FAQ's and responses share. Would love to exchange notes.

P.S: Responses not meant for the lovely people who are my life.

Fragrance

Fragrances and perfumes have always been women's favorite accessories right after the Sparkly jewels. And why shouldn't they be after all what could be more sophisticated, spendthrift, classy and absolutely reckless bordering on insanity to spend on something that simply evaporated in to the AIR.

My favorite Perfume brand has always been Elizabeth Arden may be because I grew up around the smell of Green Tea and 5th Avenue.

All the snazzy new age perfumes seem to lack the originality and basic tones of these old favorites. Seems to me more an more perfumes especially in women's segment are focused towards packaging only. They focus more and more on Aqua and Citrus based tones rather than into the more familiar heavier tonnes derived from the more earthy elements.

I guess the Deo Spray age has kind of taken a lot away from Perfumes, the market share and the necessity. But Perfumes invoke in me the most fairy tale, romantic, blissful mood.

My Latest obsession with them (thanks to a friend) has lead me to experiment beyond the floral notes of Elizabeth Arden to Burberry, YSL & Nina Ricci.




Here's Tea my all time favorite... with a twist of Lotus.

This perfume reminds me of all the times I used to look longingly at the Glass covered case where the Bottle was kept, I could not reach up to open the glass case when I was young but I would wait for someone to spray the perfume, & I remember how it used to linger in the air long after. In fact, I am sure it didn't but my mind remembered it so clearly.

Only on special ocassions was it sprayed on me just to keep me happy. I remember not wanting to let anyone wash the clothes so that it could still smell the same.

But now that I own the Same Perfume I find I hardly use it as often I would expect. May be that's why we don't always get what we want, coz if we did the Charm would be lost. So as that bottle stands in my presence everyday I notice it less an less.

Nothing seriously wrong in being Single

This is not a case of Sour Grape's from Aesop's Fable. What this is about is experiences and learning's from them. There I see a happy couple walking in front of me and as I walk past them I can hear their argument, here I sit beside a lady engrossed in conversation over the phone so much so that she has forgotten all sense of time and place, then when I (guiltily) eavesdrop I hear her pleading for one meeting and a few words from someone she obviously loves.

Then I meet my friends and relatives, who keep falling into a relationship and then coming out of it with burn marks all over, I find my self tending to them and again they dive into the same well of fire.

All this fire fighting, Burnol applying is getting to me, so today I made a real GEM of a statement (Even if I say so Myself).

Being single doesn't look half as bad when you see the mess not being single can turn into.

I know so many comments, barbed or spiked flying at me right now. I do not say All committed people are in a mess, may be they have a better vacuum cleaner than I do. Or are just better at keeping their lives clean.But seems to me in the most off handed situation I find that being single liberating.

Don't make any mistakes, it gets really boring sometimes when you don't have someone around to Bug, but that's not why I would choose to be committed. In fact, I think that's what I have been doing all my life.I am so afraid of getting bored that I seem to have made quite a bit of mess around myself.

But this isn't really about the mess that I have shoved under my bed, it's about the fact that today when I have the opportunity to go out on a date with a fairly interesting Male, I can without a second thought choose to spend that time with my brother. AND NOT REGRET MY CALL ON THE ISSUE.

It's Robert Frost's 'Fork in the Road', and it gives me immense pleasure to be able decide that. I walked back in d slight winter drizzle alone with my thoughts smiling all the way feeling light as feather knowing that I did not need to be attending an evening forced on me by commitment, I need not have to explain where I was going and with whom and what I planned to do.

Independence by it's nature comes with responsibility, and that's what my parents told me (I am sure we have heard this before) but what they did not tell me is that IT also came for a price.

To think of it, I am single coz I can't bear to become answerable to anyone for my decisions. Independence has it's PRICE.

And you better be willing to pay it.

Caution: Commitment, here, is not synonymous to marriage which I think is a different Ball game altogether.

That Time of the Year

Yes Folks it is that time of the Year when I reminiscience about the year that has gone past. Somehow this is triggered by the cold winter. Winter as a season has never been described as a very cheerful time isn't it? May be because the dying leaves and the chilly winds makes cools the warm heart, just like the Dementors suck out your soul, in the world of Harry Potter and create a dark cloudy chilly weather in ours.
I must not let my thoughts wander, that happens a lot with me.
I was contemplating the year gone past. May be even more the fact that nothing terribly significant has happened to make me want to write about it. I am one of those people who will advice you that just because nothing is happening doesn't mean anything is wrong and then go on to believe exactly the opposite. So I am fretting over the uneventful year.
Apparently this Blog was supposed to be about re discovering but it seems to me that I have relegated this to the side lines. However, when I am driven by something, I usually find it exciting me a lot, like may be writing a blog, which was a favorite past time in some distant past. So, may be end of the year is not such a bad time to come back to an old love.
Someone sent me an SMS the other day which said that people we love have a way of coming back to us, but in a way least expected. I guess the " least Expected" works like the *Conditions Apply clause. In my experience when ever I have sat down to take count of the year gone past, I have majorly focussed on the people I have lost and gained. Don't meant to commodify the lovely people I have in my life but they are very much like assets and liabilities when it comes to someone like me who likes to be surrounded by PEOPLE.
This Focus on people has led me to believe that when we lose someone we must realise that time was limited for them to make a mark on our lives, and if we think back they have made us learn a lesson however bitter the lesson may have been.

Since this is my maiden post for the year end, I guess I can hope to come back with some thoughts slightly more coherent and organised in the near future.