When we again meet FMLS we find her desperately seeking a mate who she says must understand her dreams which are to fly as high as possible, and not expect her to take care of the family and everyday chores of the house. She is a high flying career woman and no way is she going to stop travelling 15 days a month to roost back at home over her "eggs". So weekend after weekend there is a constant stream of eligible bachelors who walk in and out of the bistro at the corner of "No actual place names" and "this is fiction, remember?"
Finally she is almost ready to give up, calling marriage a sham by which all men want to dominate all women, the pseudo feminism statements get higher pitched in decibel as more and more sane men refuse to marry her. Then comes the most poignant moment of truth, she shouts out to the world, marriage is legalized prostitution. I am positive no one has heard her yet. Because I am sure they would find it hard not to mention the 'unmentionable' fact that her parents are in fact 'married'.
One fine morning she invites all her friends to the auspicious occasion of her marriage, so when everyone asks about her fiance, we get versions. I got, the "HE is a Manager in Biiiiiig MNC and currently in US", another one got the "HE is a Doctor based in UK."
And then she shoots all of us another memo, to cancel the wedding dates, apparently the wedding is off.
By this time I am positive that the gentlemen in question must have realized his folly in saying yes and made for the north pole as soon as he got an inkling of the true nature of Ms. FMLS.
But lo and behold, the next surprise is her engagement, which happens in the most hush hush manner possible. Strangely the Groom apparently has changed in the ensuing confusion from "Shahrukhr" he has become "Abhishek" and from being a Manager in a Biiiiiiig MNC he is now a small time techie in some arbit IT company, fresh out from a Distance learning course and yet to smell the air of UK or US.
For our convenience we shall call him Dehati-Wannabe-SHHtud, a.k.a DWS.
Let's talk about some of the very important events in the life of Mr. & Mrs, SHHtud. They meet and decide to go for a photo shoot in front of a green screen, preening, into the camera, at the weirdest possible angles, and wearing, the craziest outfit of suit that sparkles, and sari that is so see-through that you can count the number of hair on her. So they pose like those 70's portraits done for the family album in black white. Interestingly the colors dazzle your eyeballs and you wonder why are there so many really bad colors in the world, and for some reason they are all on the clothes of these two.
The engagement is a another 'view in slideshow mode' occasion, where no friends are invited from the brides side, where they are both so busy showing of their Rings. And my my what beautiful rings they were. The gold seemed copper like, and the diamonds like pretty white zircons.The bitching session in this lies in the fact that the writer owns a better diamond ring than that engagement ring. Okay okay I know that was out of line, but hello, given that FMLS shops from Prada, Gucci, D&G a better ring she did deserve.
All's well that ends well, but in between there is the entire melodramatic episode of the secret marriage in the city hall. Why on earth would you want to do that in an "arranged marriage"? One is left wondering.
The entire time that all this is happening, the biggest shock was still lurking across the threshold and in the dark recess. Just then a common friend visited the lady in question, and did she come back with horror stories? The Gucci's and Prada's were hogwash. The wine was a cheap medicinal version, the apartment which was oh so grand happened to be somewhere near a slum, a tiny cubby hole pretending just like her to be an apartment, with no ventilation, no heating, no cooling, no running water..... you get the picture?
Madam lived out of suitcases full of the oddest clothes, the saris were far from designer house, they turned out to be from the local whole seller, with the tackiest of accessories from the flea market where your local vendor picks up shoes, perfumes,costume jewelry etc by weight, yes, that's what I am talking about. The living conditions of the said place was worse than anything you can imagine for a High Flying Career woman. No wonder she refused to do any household work, because she just can't. So says my friend after an excruciatingly painful stay, almost eaten by bugs & rodents.
One by one all the masks that FMLS wore dropped off, and slowly everyone around her figured out that she was just a wannbe who really didn't have a great job or a great life. All the high flying was on Company money, which sadly disappeared, because her Boss realized that she had out grown her usefulness. But the good thing is she found her soul mate in Mr. DWS, a similar wannabe soul who was going through life not realizing the potential of a cheap Digital Camera,a few trips to the local Mall & some light reading of Fashion Mags when waiting for a service at a beauty parlour- yes please read as written, this is not a salon'.
But the one lesson that I learnt from this is not to take any face book profile to be the real life mirror of a person, because like it or not we all love to put up a show.
Finally she is almost ready to give up, calling marriage a sham by which all men want to dominate all women, the pseudo feminism statements get higher pitched in decibel as more and more sane men refuse to marry her. Then comes the most poignant moment of truth, she shouts out to the world, marriage is legalized prostitution. I am positive no one has heard her yet. Because I am sure they would find it hard not to mention the 'unmentionable' fact that her parents are in fact 'married'.
One fine morning she invites all her friends to the auspicious occasion of her marriage, so when everyone asks about her fiance, we get versions. I got, the "HE is a Manager in Biiiiiig MNC and currently in US", another one got the "HE is a Doctor based in UK."
And then she shoots all of us another memo, to cancel the wedding dates, apparently the wedding is off.
By this time I am positive that the gentlemen in question must have realized his folly in saying yes and made for the north pole as soon as he got an inkling of the true nature of Ms. FMLS.
But lo and behold, the next surprise is her engagement, which happens in the most hush hush manner possible. Strangely the Groom apparently has changed in the ensuing confusion from "Shahrukhr" he has become "Abhishek" and from being a Manager in a Biiiiiiig MNC he is now a small time techie in some arbit IT company, fresh out from a Distance learning course and yet to smell the air of UK or US.
For our convenience we shall call him Dehati-Wannabe-SHHtud, a.k.a DWS.
Let's talk about some of the very important events in the life of Mr. & Mrs, SHHtud. They meet and decide to go for a photo shoot in front of a green screen, preening, into the camera, at the weirdest possible angles, and wearing, the craziest outfit of suit that sparkles, and sari that is so see-through that you can count the number of hair on her. So they pose like those 70's portraits done for the family album in black white. Interestingly the colors dazzle your eyeballs and you wonder why are there so many really bad colors in the world, and for some reason they are all on the clothes of these two.
The engagement is a another 'view in slideshow mode' occasion, where no friends are invited from the brides side, where they are both so busy showing of their Rings. And my my what beautiful rings they were. The gold seemed copper like, and the diamonds like pretty white zircons.The bitching session in this lies in the fact that the writer owns a better diamond ring than that engagement ring. Okay okay I know that was out of line, but hello, given that FMLS shops from Prada, Gucci, D&G a better ring she did deserve.
All's well that ends well, but in between there is the entire melodramatic episode of the secret marriage in the city hall. Why on earth would you want to do that in an "arranged marriage"? One is left wondering.
The entire time that all this is happening, the biggest shock was still lurking across the threshold and in the dark recess. Just then a common friend visited the lady in question, and did she come back with horror stories? The Gucci's and Prada's were hogwash. The wine was a cheap medicinal version, the apartment which was oh so grand happened to be somewhere near a slum, a tiny cubby hole pretending just like her to be an apartment, with no ventilation, no heating, no cooling, no running water..... you get the picture?
Madam lived out of suitcases full of the oddest clothes, the saris were far from designer house, they turned out to be from the local whole seller, with the tackiest of accessories from the flea market where your local vendor picks up shoes, perfumes,costume jewelry etc by weight, yes, that's what I am talking about. The living conditions of the said place was worse than anything you can imagine for a High Flying Career woman. No wonder she refused to do any household work, because she just can't. So says my friend after an excruciatingly painful stay, almost eaten by bugs & rodents.
One by one all the masks that FMLS wore dropped off, and slowly everyone around her figured out that she was just a wannbe who really didn't have a great job or a great life. All the high flying was on Company money, which sadly disappeared, because her Boss realized that she had out grown her usefulness. But the good thing is she found her soul mate in Mr. DWS, a similar wannabe soul who was going through life not realizing the potential of a cheap Digital Camera,a few trips to the local Mall & some light reading of Fashion Mags when waiting for a service at a beauty parlour- yes please read as written, this is not a salon'.
But the one lesson that I learnt from this is not to take any face book profile to be the real life mirror of a person, because like it or not we all love to put up a show.
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1 comment:
simply awesome. loved the insight.
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