This could be your story or mine, you could take it to be a self help guide on How not to plan a Happy Birthday Party.
First things first, do not post updates on social networking sites about anything at all which points to anyone in particular especially if you want them to like you and come to your party. If you ask me why, I can only tell you, one woman's mead is another man's poison or some such thing. Plus people think you are loony to be so excited about your own birthday. Although I would have liked my friends to have thrown me a surprise parry but then somehow no one really likes to make an effort, so even after tonnes of hint I have to plan for it myself.
Birthdays are dicey times, at least for me, I am always very excited about them, so starts the upward curve of the graph and it moves up at a fast pace, then I hit the plateau of indecisiveness, my favorite past time, what to do, who to invite, where to go, etc etc. All this snowballs into stress and I am almost ready to give up doing anything but staying at home and vegetating. Then there is my happiness's bane the ghosts of Work plague me. The pile of work gets higher and higher with every hour that passes, this is stressful, there is the stress of not getting work done on time, there is the stress of non performance, there is the whole 'I am better than this' track in the mind. Add to it the extreme sensitivity [read emotions] expecting everyone to be nice & fair and all that which Librans expect and most of the times you would probably get away with a few indiscretions but not when it is our birth month.
The build up to the day can be always messy, some of it circumstantial others my own stupidity. Could be the shock of travelling in really cheap airlines, sweating profusely, almost wondering whether the flight would be able to take off with all the passengers and the luggage. Long hot day spent counselling uncounsel-able [sic] managers and then the horror of finding travel tickets unconfirmed, rushing from the station to the airport to grab the next flight out of the weird town where a national food chain can't serve a decent Ceaser's Salad and finally back home.
Talking about indiscretions, the story cannot be fun if there are none of these silly bits of nonsense in the past few weeks before the actual date, namely building up a guest list assuming people will say No, without checking the bank account, unaware of the Group Dynamics that could arise out of these people under one roof on the birthday. Some pretty awful decisions, thankfully all the mess of the tours and travels are good excuses to snip the guest list and finally, you can have the perfect set, umm make that a set + '1'. That perfect set is what you want when you have a party, where there are enough people who know each other, some sprinkling of people who are easy to be with and get along with new people, which takes care of the focus you might have to give on them so they are not bored. A time you could spend cultivating the '1' [read cute guy/girl/friend]. Ideally 7-10 should be the numbers if you want to keep it personal. It's not a treat, where you call in all and sundry to partake in what can only be defined as sip n bite. A dinner party, the kind I like, needs to be fun, smart and warm. Okay three extremely unrelated words.
I don't like hitches, so a place where everyone get what they like, food and beverages, where people can relax and you will not be asked to keep it down because your group is raising hell, which they must if it's My party.
Regarding Group Dynamics, the seating has to be considered, straight back chairs or Sofa's etc etc, the seating arrangement, I like to leave it up to the folks, but sometimes I got to make suggestions just so that the wrong people don't get to sit beside each other. If they do, you could try to ignore their bickering and frowns hopefully by the time the party is over they would not have killed each other or worse maimed someone so you end up in a Emergency Room.
The thing about parties is that they always get stretched, with all the cacophony, chatter, laughter and little bit of food and beverages.It could be compared to a many headed animal, which can change track at any time. It is hard to concentrate with so much going on. And as a host you shouldn't try too hard, because if you do there is absolutely no doubt about the fact that you will not enjoy.
Of course some people do not have choice regarding this, they could have spent around 6 hours crying and piling up paper hand towels trying to drown the thoughts rearing up in the mind which could lead to a complete cancellation of all celebrations.The reason could be feeling absolutely forsaken and abandoned because people scold you for stuff which you think is part of your quirky charm and fair because it wasn't meant to harm anyone. Well lesson learnt, people do not necessarily find your quirkiness charming, and apparently the world agrees. But usually such things can be overcome by will power and a little bit of greed for the gifts that are almost obviously coming to the Party wrapped up in the finest Gift wrapping, I mean the wonderful company of the people I love, of course.
A warm shower, a nice dress, some hurried make up and you end up in the middle of the milling crowd, sitting down, getting the servers to figure out the AC temperature controls and what not, the smiles, the photo ops, the gifts, the cake, the late guest, the awkwardness, the chat, the smile, the food and the toasting with sparkling wine, the wrap up and you realise 3 hours have flown past with no tear drops.
Parties have a way of making you feel warm and fuzzy or may be the people, so even when you may be sad about not sitting beside your favorite person because they have perched their bottom [ read 'cute' before bottom] between two delightful couples who are too nice to ask to be allowed to sit close to each other, you cheer up, you try to smile at first but then you actually smile without the effort.
You may not had the chance to click pictures with everyone of the guest, you may not have hugged everyone for coming, or thanked them for the gifts, you may have even not stood in the corner of the terrace and stole a kiss from that '1' you like so much, who made you sad for sometime, but you have just had your birthday party and you are unexpectedly content and happy.
The warmth of the evening seeps into your soul by the time you are on your way back home, you reach out and pour your heart out. It's always a good thing to talk. I have always believed so. For the sake of argument, status updates can read like stinker mails from Bosses, and friendly scolding can sound like a verbal thrashing from the team manager for indiscipline. But a birthday is a birthday, darling, I am a sensitive creature by nature, so handle with care is all I can say.
Of course, a hand to brush away the hair falling on my face and a surprisingly gentle hug can melt away the pain and hurt, but I wouldn't mind a kiss or two to make the birthday perfect just '2 mins before the day ends'. But then I have always wanted 'Everything'.
P.S: Advice:
First things first, do not post updates on social networking sites about anything at all which points to anyone in particular especially if you want them to like you and come to your party. If you ask me why, I can only tell you, one woman's mead is another man's poison or some such thing. Plus people think you are loony to be so excited about your own birthday. Although I would have liked my friends to have thrown me a surprise parry but then somehow no one really likes to make an effort, so even after tonnes of hint I have to plan for it myself.
Birthdays are dicey times, at least for me, I am always very excited about them, so starts the upward curve of the graph and it moves up at a fast pace, then I hit the plateau of indecisiveness, my favorite past time, what to do, who to invite, where to go, etc etc. All this snowballs into stress and I am almost ready to give up doing anything but staying at home and vegetating. Then there is my happiness's bane the ghosts of Work plague me. The pile of work gets higher and higher with every hour that passes, this is stressful, there is the stress of not getting work done on time, there is the stress of non performance, there is the whole 'I am better than this' track in the mind. Add to it the extreme sensitivity [read emotions] expecting everyone to be nice & fair and all that which Librans expect and most of the times you would probably get away with a few indiscretions but not when it is our birth month.
The build up to the day can be always messy, some of it circumstantial others my own stupidity. Could be the shock of travelling in really cheap airlines, sweating profusely, almost wondering whether the flight would be able to take off with all the passengers and the luggage. Long hot day spent counselling uncounsel-able [sic] managers and then the horror of finding travel tickets unconfirmed, rushing from the station to the airport to grab the next flight out of the weird town where a national food chain can't serve a decent Ceaser's Salad and finally back home.
Talking about indiscretions, the story cannot be fun if there are none of these silly bits of nonsense in the past few weeks before the actual date, namely building up a guest list assuming people will say No, without checking the bank account, unaware of the Group Dynamics that could arise out of these people under one roof on the birthday. Some pretty awful decisions, thankfully all the mess of the tours and travels are good excuses to snip the guest list and finally, you can have the perfect set, umm make that a set + '1'. That perfect set is what you want when you have a party, where there are enough people who know each other, some sprinkling of people who are easy to be with and get along with new people, which takes care of the focus you might have to give on them so they are not bored. A time you could spend cultivating the '1' [read cute guy/girl/friend]. Ideally 7-10 should be the numbers if you want to keep it personal. It's not a treat, where you call in all and sundry to partake in what can only be defined as sip n bite. A dinner party, the kind I like, needs to be fun, smart and warm. Okay three extremely unrelated words.
I don't like hitches, so a place where everyone get what they like, food and beverages, where people can relax and you will not be asked to keep it down because your group is raising hell, which they must if it's My party.
Regarding Group Dynamics, the seating has to be considered, straight back chairs or Sofa's etc etc, the seating arrangement, I like to leave it up to the folks, but sometimes I got to make suggestions just so that the wrong people don't get to sit beside each other. If they do, you could try to ignore their bickering and frowns hopefully by the time the party is over they would not have killed each other or worse maimed someone so you end up in a Emergency Room.
The thing about parties is that they always get stretched, with all the cacophony, chatter, laughter and little bit of food and beverages.It could be compared to a many headed animal, which can change track at any time. It is hard to concentrate with so much going on. And as a host you shouldn't try too hard, because if you do there is absolutely no doubt about the fact that you will not enjoy.
Of course some people do not have choice regarding this, they could have spent around 6 hours crying and piling up paper hand towels trying to drown the thoughts rearing up in the mind which could lead to a complete cancellation of all celebrations.The reason could be feeling absolutely forsaken and abandoned because people scold you for stuff which you think is part of your quirky charm and fair because it wasn't meant to harm anyone. Well lesson learnt, people do not necessarily find your quirkiness charming, and apparently the world agrees. But usually such things can be overcome by will power and a little bit of greed for the gifts that are almost obviously coming to the Party wrapped up in the finest Gift wrapping, I mean the wonderful company of the people I love, of course.
A warm shower, a nice dress, some hurried make up and you end up in the middle of the milling crowd, sitting down, getting the servers to figure out the AC temperature controls and what not, the smiles, the photo ops, the gifts, the cake, the late guest, the awkwardness, the chat, the smile, the food and the toasting with sparkling wine, the wrap up and you realise 3 hours have flown past with no tear drops.
Parties have a way of making you feel warm and fuzzy or may be the people, so even when you may be sad about not sitting beside your favorite person because they have perched their bottom [ read 'cute' before bottom] between two delightful couples who are too nice to ask to be allowed to sit close to each other, you cheer up, you try to smile at first but then you actually smile without the effort.
You may not had the chance to click pictures with everyone of the guest, you may not have hugged everyone for coming, or thanked them for the gifts, you may have even not stood in the corner of the terrace and stole a kiss from that '1' you like so much, who made you sad for sometime, but you have just had your birthday party and you are unexpectedly content and happy.
The warmth of the evening seeps into your soul by the time you are on your way back home, you reach out and pour your heart out. It's always a good thing to talk. I have always believed so. For the sake of argument, status updates can read like stinker mails from Bosses, and friendly scolding can sound like a verbal thrashing from the team manager for indiscipline. But a birthday is a birthday, darling, I am a sensitive creature by nature, so handle with care is all I can say.
Of course, a hand to brush away the hair falling on my face and a surprisingly gentle hug can melt away the pain and hurt, but I wouldn't mind a kiss or two to make the birthday perfect just '2 mins before the day ends'. But then I have always wanted 'Everything'.
P.S: Advice:
- Bring a bag for the gifts
- Don't open the gifts the moment you receive it
- Cards you can read
- Think about our orders before placing them
- Reason for not opening the gifts -
- Gift wrapping and tapes are a mess
- You could break something
- You could be so overwhelmed by a gift that forgetting [sthan, kal and patro] place, time and person, you may put your arms around the '1' and end up saying something stupid like I love you.
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